


Tactical Dating

by ItsaVikingThing



Series: Korrasami Month 2018 [9]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humour, Korrasami Month 2018, prompt: fake dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 10:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17242802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsaVikingThing/pseuds/ItsaVikingThing
Summary: One problem with being the Avatar is the frequency with which bad people attack you when you're trying to have a relaxing dinner date with your wife. After the latest in a long string of attacks that have made securing reservations at nice restaurants difficult, Korra hits on a brilliant plan to turn the tables on the next group of ambushers who want to mess with her in an eatery.The problem is, if Korra's going to draw the bad guys out, she's going to have to go on a lot of dates and Asami isn't going to be available often enough. Good thing Korra has friends she can rely on...





	Tactical Dating

Asami dumps her soup-stained jacket on the floor. She dumps her soup-stained self on the sofa. "This is getting ridiculous! It's going to be impossible to get a dinner reservation anywhere in the city!"

Korra sighs as she picks at the tattered remnants of what was once her nicest evening gown. "It's like they always know when I'm wearing a dress..."

Asami examines a bruise on her arm, scowling. "Why is it people always attack you in restaurants? How many times is this now?"

"Uh...it's been a few times, I guess." Korra throws herself onto the couch beside Asami, careful not to jostle her. "That time at Zeki's..."

"Our honeymoon..."

"Opal and Bolin's pre-wedding dinner pre-dinner..."

"Oh! Your teal dress! You looked so beautiful in it..."

"They burned it." Korra sighs and leans her shoulder against Asami's. " _And_ crushed it with rocks."

Asami sighs and leans her head against Korra's. "Which 'they' were they?"

"Hmm...was that the candy guy's crew?"

"No, you're thinking of the reception on the airship."

"Oh, yeah! You fell..."

"I dropped. It was part of my plan!"

"I caught you."

"You did." Asami turns her head and kisses Korra's cheek. "Thank you, wife."

"My pleasure, wife." Korra takes one of Asami's hands in hers. "It must have been the Anti-Voting League, then. At Bolin and Opal's dinner."

"I think you're right." Asami squeezes Korra's hand. "We've fought a lot of angry people in a lot of restaurants."

"Yeah. It's like it's the only plan they can think of. How can we catch the Avatar off guard?"

"Ambush her at dinner! In a restaurant! That way, there'll be innocent bystanders!"

"She won't be able to firebend!"

"Her earthbending will be limited."

"Airbending too. She won't want to hurt the bystanders!"

"And we can try to make sure she doesn't have easy access to water!"

"They always lose. You'd think they'd try something new."

"But it's always close. It _almost_ works, which is why they keep trying."

Korra sighs. "Maybe I should stop wearing dresses? It always happens when I wear a dress."

Asami gasps. "Let's not do anything rash, here! I don't want to have to give up you wearing dresses!"

Korra chuckles. "So, what? I mean, we could do more tactical drills, but it's not like I can invent a whole new form of bending suited to restaurants so no one ever bothers us in a restaurant again."

"Well, no. Of course not, but..." Asami blinks. She stares at Korra, whose eyes have become distant. "What?"

Korra stares at Asami and slowly grins. "I'm gonna invent a whole new form of bending suited to restaurants so no one ever bothers us in a restaurant again!"

* * *

Chief Lin Beifong frowns suspiciously at Avatar Korra. "Did you hear what I said?"

Korra grins, enjoying the warm happy glow that Lin's news has spread through her body. "Yeah, uh huh, yep! Rumours have reached you via stool weasel-pigeons that there's a gang mounting a plot against the Avatar! I'm being targeted! They could strike at _any time_!"

Lin's frown deepens. She leans across her desk and adresses Asami in what she presumably imagines is a tactful whisper. "Is she broken again?"

Asami sighs. "Just excited. There's something she's been wanting to try out..."

Lin winces. "I'll have the fire crews on standby."

Korra, who has been happily bouncing up and down in her chair, blinks. "What? No, no! It's fine. I have a plan to take down these...uh, who is after me now?"

Lin plucks a file the uppermost strata of the geology of paperwork that makes up the surface of her desk. "They're an organisation dedicated to the shutdown of the spirit portals. Apparently they intend to--"

"Okay, yeah, got it." Korra rolls her eyes when Lin glares at her. "What? It's not like their plan's going to work! Because I have the perfect plan to deal with these guys! Asami and I are going to go for dinner! We're gonna have..." Korra pauses and grins triumphantly at Lin. " _Noodles_!"

Lin nods slowly. "Uh huh. So...no help from the Avatar for a while, I suppose..."

Asami sighs again. "And date night's not going to be much fun either...I really wanted to try that new Fire Nation barbecue place."

"Huh? But...but I have a plan!" Korra's warm happy glow diminishes. She pouts. "None of you appreciate my Avatar genius. Of all my Avatarly accomplishments, this is gonna be the Avatarliest! Just you wait and see!"

* * *

Korra's gaze flits across everyone and everything in Deng's Noodles 'n' Nothin' Else But Noodles Noodle House of Noodles. Her suspicions find disappointingly few people to land on.

Asami stares at the menu, her brow furrowed. "Noodle plattter? What...what even is a noodle _platter_?"

"Huh? Oh. It's a tray made out of noodles, with a variety of noodle bowls served on it. "

Asami digests that information with the expression of someone who intends to digest nothing else tonight. "Are you...do the bowls contain noodles? Or are they _made_ of noodles?"

"Uh...one second." Korra glares at an approaching waiter, silently daring him to turn a tray of chopsticks into a deadly weapon. The waiter blanches and scurries away, his head bowed. "What were you...? Oh! Both, yeah. You...have to eat pretty quickly, or the broth gets everywhere."

Asami primly lifts her sleeves from the sticky surface of their table. That at least appears to be made of wood. She tries to smile. "And the broth? Is that noodles, too?"

Korra, busy mouthing 'I'm watching you' to a couple who have been overly aggressively biting into their noodle bowls, blinks and focuses briefly on Asami. "What? No, of course not! It is based on a noodle stock, though..."

"I...see."Asami closes the menu and pushes it away with the tip of one finger. "I think I'll have water tonight?"

Korra nods, but her attention is focused on an elderly lady in the far corner who is keeping one hand under the table. "Good choice, good choice."

Asami narrows her eyes. "Right. Well. Have fun defeating all of the ambushes that aren't going to happen tonight. I think I'll swing by the office and do some of the work I blew off for date night."

"Sounds delicious! I...wait, what?"

Asami starts to lean across the table, thinks better of it and crosses her arms instead. "Korra. We could get attacked anywhere, at any time. That's the way it's always been. We can't live our lives trying to anticipate where the next blow will fall! I want my time with you to be...special." Asami gestures at a waiter sprinting to a table with a pair of rapidly softening noodle platters in his hands. "This is not the kind of special I had in mind."

"But...but...if we get this out of the way _now_ , we'll be able to eat wherever we want whenever we want because no one--"

"No one will ever bother us in restaurants again? Korra...even if that actually works out, I don't want to--"

"It'll _so_ work out!"

"I don't want to waste what time we have in places like this, Korra. I want to do something romantic with you!"

"I thought you liked stopping bad guys with me! _I_ think fighting together is romantic!"

" _Not_ ," Asami hisses, "when we are fighting _each other_. There is no attack coming tonight, Korra. I am leaving."

Korra looks around wildly, but no threats other than the food on offer materialise. Korra slumps. She rubs the back of her neck, noticing now how tense Asami is. "...okay. You're right. This place was a bad idea."

Some of the rigidity leaves Asami's posture. "It wasn't your best, no."

"Sorry, Asami. Would a waterbending massage make up for things?"

"You don't need to..." Asami sighs. She shakes her head, but she' s smiling, too. "Let's just get out of here, pick up something for dinner and have a quiet night in with the radio?"

"Okay."

Asami leaves a generous number of yuans on the table for the time they spent and the basket of dried noodle sticks Korra ate. No one accosts them on their way out of Deng's, or on their way to Zhin's stall where they buy seafood tempura, or on their way home.

Korra does her best not to glare too suspiciously at everyone they pass, or to let her disappointment at her plan not working out become too obvious. She probably doesn't make a very good job of it, because while she's unlocking the door of their apartment, Asami leans in and kisses her on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"You were looking broody."

"I'm the Avatar! It's amazing how unbroody I look most of the time, given how much I have to brood over."

Asami kisses her cheek again. "It was a good idea, and I know you've been working hard on this. But maybe let this one go for now? You can't spend your whole life in restaurants hoping to be attacked."

Korra blinks. "Huh. Interesting point..."

There's a whole new idea in there, but before Korra can pin it down, Asami kisses her cheek again. Korra looks at Asami. Asami looks back at her, eyes lidded, a very particular sort of smile on her lips.

Korra's heart starts to thunder. "You, uh, you're getting a lot of lipstick on my cheek, you know."

Asami smirks. "Hurry up and open the door so I can get it other places, too."

Their night ends much better than it started. Korra's attention doesn't wander from Asami at any point for the rest of it. Even though she already has the beginning of a whole new plan forming in her mind.

* * *

It's sort of annoying that Mako is staring at Korra like she's crazy because, for one thing, she isn't, and for another her plan is brilliant and easy to understand, and for a third thing, they're in the refectory at Mako's RCPD precinct and Korra doesn't want half the city's police force thinking she's crazy, too.

Mako shakes his head. "You want me to...go on a date. With you. Tonight. Have I got that right?"

Korra rolls her eyes. "No, Mako! Were you even listening? I want you to come to a romantic, candlelit dinner with me so that when we get jumped by whatever weird guys are after me this time, I can show them...uh, the error of their ways! With my new secret bending techniques!"

"So...Asami's okay with you taking me out on a date?"

"A _fake_ date! She's busy tonight, and she's tired of getting jumped at restaurants on date night, and it's _always_ on date night we get jumped, so--"

"You guys do get attacked in a lot of restaurants, huh? Why is that? Is it because they think--"

"Yeah, yeah, that I'm vulnerable and can't bend to my fullest and all that stuff. Which is why I need you to fake date me, so the bad guys attack us, so the next time I real date my wife, we don't get attacked in another actually nice restaurant!"

Mako scowls. "Wait. You're taking me to a _bad_ restaurant? That's not how you treat a date!"

"Fake date! And it'll be a perfectly _not_ bad restaurant. I'll even pay for your meal!"

"Were you thinking you weren't going to?!"

"You're the one with the job! I have a stupid vocation! No one pays for a vocation, because they know you'll do it anyway!"

"Fine! I'll fake date you and go half on the meal! But only in the name of justice."

Korra grins. "Thanks, Mako! You won't regret this!" She hesitates. "You, uh, don't mind noodles right?"

* * *

To Korra's chagrin, her date with Mako is a complete disaster. Oh, she and Mako have a pleasant enough time in Jiang's Neatest Noodle Emporium, but no one attacks them once! Not even during their dessert of noodle cakes crumbled into sweet tofu, or during post-dessert tea!

Korra lingers until the glares of the wait staff force her to abandon their table. She and Mako go out into a warm Republic City night unfortunately free of ambushers, bushwhackers, surprise attackers, sinister lurkers or even malicious loiterers.

Korra earthbends a pebble out of the sidewalk so she can kick it moodily. "Why aren't these jerks attacking me already?"

Mako shrugs. "Maybe they won't. You're the Avatar, after all, and you're building a reputation as someone not to cross. Which is, y'know, a good thing?"

"It _would_ be, but someone always attacks sooner or later. And it's almost always on date night. But that's two chances to ruin my night they've passed up, which is threatening to ruin my night tonight and a whole lot of other nights to come."

Mako sighs. "Yes, Korra. It must be very difficult, not getting attacked. What exactly is it you had planned for your attackers anyway?"

Korra grins. "It's a secret. An awesome, revolutionary secret that's going to rock the bending world!"

Mako raises an eyebrow. "So, fighting with food somehow?"

"...it's a secret? That you'll never guess? So please stop trying?"

"It is fighting with food, then. I...can't wait to see that? I guess..."

Korra tries not to pout. "Speaking of, what are your plans for, say, this week?"

Mako stares at her. "You're planning on taking someone for fake dates every night?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"You're married. If nothing else, it's a _weird_ thing."

"Is not! It's tactical!"

"Korra...whatever. I'm going to be on a stakeout the rest of the week. You'll have to fake date someone else. Or just...not? Maybe just enjoy the fact that you're not being attacked?"

Korra very deliberately pouts. "No one appreciates my brilliance." She blinks. "Wait! I bet Bolin will appreciate my brilliance!"

* * *

Korra fiddles with her napkin in Braq's Northern Noodles, sipping at her cooling tea and looking out the window every second or so. The seat across from her remains empty.

"Bolin would appreciate my brilliance if he showed up!"

A waiter appears at Korra's elbow. "Are you ready to order, Avatar ma'am?"

"Oh, uh, I'm waiting for..." Korra blinks up at her waiter. "Bolin?"

"Hey, Korra ma'am!" Bolin beams at her, resplendent in his yellow and purple uniform with the orange cummerbund. "How are things? Also, you need to order something or I'm gonna get yelled at again, ma'am."

"You're...posing as a waiter? I thought we were going to eat? Together? Like, uh..." Korra casts a quick, suspicious look around to see if anyone threatening has arrived since Bolin showed up. No one has. Korra sighs. "Like friends do?"

Bolin purses his lips. "Posing...as a waiter. That is what I appear to be doing, yes...ma'am."

There's a short pause as both of them reassess the situation.

Korra clears her throat. "Are...you a waiter now?"

Bolin rubs his jaw. "I mean...don't we all wait at some point in our lives?"

"Not professionally, no."

"Right. Okay, well, yeah. I'm a waiter. I'm sort of, uh, between movers. So I'm, uh, exploring new horizons!"

Korra slowly nods. "Varrick's mad at you?"

"No! No way, of course not! Why would he be mad at me, just because I burned down one sound stage?"

"Ooooh, that's...actually is he really mad about that? It sort of seems like the kind of thing he'd forgive, really."

"Zhu Li's mom _may_ have been in it when the fire started?"

Korra winces. "Okay, yeah. I can understand if Zhu Li's mom was... " Korra looks at Bolin, who squirms in discomfort. "It wasn't just Zhu Li's mom, was it?"

"Weeeell, see, what happened was, Zhu Li's family was in town, but Zhu Li was busy, so I was looking after them, and I gave them a tour of the sound stage, but then there was...an incident with a spotlight and a curtain and a can of paint while I was juggling fire sticks, and Zhu Li's dad, aunt, uncle, three nieces, two nephews, and a cousin were all there when the fire started. Mind you, I don't think Zhu Li really likes her cousin. She said he was twice removed, so he must have snuck in a third time. .."

Korra gapes at him.

Bolin fiddles with his cummerbund. "I mean, they all survived. And Zhu Li's dad's hair _will_ grow back. So will her mom's eyebrows!"

"So you're...going to be a waiter for a while, huh?"

Bolin hangs his head. "...yeah."

Korra pats his shoulder. "Gimme a Northern Noodle Classic With A Southern Twist as a starter and a Symphony of Noodles as my main."

Bolin starts scribbling frantically in a notebook he plucks from his cummerbund. "Coming right up! And, hey! If you need someone to take to dinner, I'll talk to Opal for you! I know she'd love to spend some time with just the two of you!"

"Huh. Yeah. I could fake date Opal! That's perfect! Thanks, Bolin!"

Korra waits in vain for anyone to attack her that night. When she pays her bill, she leaves as generous a tip as she can afford.

* * *

"I have to say, this is a little unexpected! Asking me out on a date?" Opal Beifong is wearing a very chic green silk dress and very appealing perfume. She beams at Korra from across a candlelit table in Hong's Elegant Noodles And Sophisticated Dumplings. "I'm flattered, though!"

Korra--who is wearing her second best surviving dress and is carrying the last of her available funds to pay for this night in a restaurant she actually _likes_ \--looks glumly around the cosy, wood-panelled restaurant for threats that she fears simply aren't there. It's been more than a week since Lin tipped them off, six days since her last date night with Asami, and this is her last shot at drawing out the bad guys, unless Korra asks Asami for a loan.

It doesn't appear to be working any better than her previous efforts.

Korra suppresses a sigh and offers Opal a smile. "Well, why wouldn't I want to spend time with you?"

Opal lowers her eyes. She runs a finger around the rim of her wine glass. "Oh, I'd have thought you'd be completely wrapped up in Asami for the rest of your lives. I was surprised when Bolin told me you were dating now, but..." Opal bites her lip and looks at Korra through her eyelashes. She flutters them. "It's a very _pleasant_ surprise that you wanted to date...me."

Korra briefly perks up when she sees a waiter carrying what she hopes is a sword, but it turns out just to be a large salt shaker. She pouts and focuses on Opal again. "Huh? What's a surprise?" Korra takes a sip of her wine.

Opal, blushing, lowers her voice. "That...you and Asami are interested in...you know." She leans in closer and lowers her voice further still. "Spouse swapping."

Korra quietly chokes on her mouthful of wine.

Oblivious, Opal says, "I have to admit, I actually used to have a tiny little bit of a crush on you. So this is...well, it's nice knowing it wasn't completely one-sided, maybe?"

Still choking, Korra starts to wave her hands desperately.

Opal's blush deepens. "Oh, I know you and Asami are as truly in love as Bolin and I are! Don't get me wrong! And I know this is just...an experience. And I think it's important to establish some ground rules about these things. What everyone's comfortable with, what lines we shouldn't cross. We should maybe do that before we get to the rest of the night? So, I'll start! How do you feel about biting? Now, I quite enjoy a firm--"

" _Opal!_ " Korra gasps, forcing words through her throat which seems to want to close itself off in sheer embarrassment. "What...this is a fake date! For tactical purposes! _What_ did Bolin tell you this was about?"

A minute ago, Korra would not have thought that Opal couldn't have blushed more deeply. But after a second in which her eyes widen and her face pales, her entire face turns crimson. "Oh. Oh! Oh, noooooo. No, no, no, you see, what it is...Bolin told me...ah, yes, that's it! He definitely told me to prank you? Which I did? Just there? Did you notice the prank? With all those prank things I said? Aaaall of those things were pranks. Uh huh. Yeah. Yes! Definitely pranks! So when you tell Asami about this--because oh, spirits, you _will_ tell her, won't you? You actually will, because you have to!--you can tell her it was a funny prank! And we'll all...laugh about it together. Together as friends, that is! With our clothes on! Just...us friends laughing with our clothes on, in that way we do! Haha!"

Korra has never experienced a stronger desire to be attacked by homicidal maniacs before in her life. There have been so many other occasions when Korra has been attacked in her life, to the point where it has almost become part of her routine, so it seems deeply unfair that no one wants to assault her now, or launch some deadly scheme against the people of Republic City. Tonight, Korra can't even get a mildly irate restaurant manager to turn up with a complaint about the noise level at their table.

Korra opens her mouth, unsure of what to say but certain that someone has to say _something_ at this point.

Opal beats her to it. She flags down a waiter and says, "Could I get the bill, please? Actually, could you just estimate it so I can throw some money on the table and run? In fact, I think I'll just do that, and you can keep the change? Thank you so much!"

Korra starts to stand up. "Opal--"

"No! You sit! Enjoy the wine! And the bill, when it arrives! Reading that will...help take your mind off things? I need to go, because I've just remembered I need to leave Republic City forever? Must pack! Bye!"

Opal flings a liberal number of yuan notes at the table and sprints out of the restaurant without her coat. Korra groans. She offers the waiter a sheepish smile, grabs Opal's coat and her own, and stumbles out into the street knowing somehow that Opal's is the only ambush she needs to worry about tonight.

* * *

When Korra gets home, she finds Asami in the living room, Naga napping at her feet. Asami is surrounded by heaps of files and papers, some of which are balanced on Naga's back. When she looks up at Korra, though, she climbs out of her paper fortress and steps into Korra's arms.

"Hey," she says softly. "You okay?"

Korra groans. "The bad guys don't want to attack me and my fake date with Opal went wrong because she thought it was a real date because Bolin happened."

"Oh." Asami squeezes Korra gently. "Is she okay? She used to have a really big crush on you."

Korra smiles and relaxes into Asami's arms. "You're amazing. And I love you. And Opal's really embarrassed, and I think she's terrified of what you'll do to her, but I caught her before she could flee through the Spirit Portal. She'll get over it. I might, too, at some point!

Asami chuckles. "I trust you, and I trust Opal. And I know she must be mortified. I'll talk to her in the morning. I suppose I'll have to let Bolin down gently, too."

"Huh? Did he ask you out on a date?"

"No, he applied for an internship at Future Industries. I don't think I can trust him with taking and delivering messages, though, so..."

"Yeah, no. You've put a lot of work into saving the company and building it back up, probably best not to let Bolin near anything too sensitive. Not right away, at least! Maybe start him on...whatever it is that Future Industries does that's safe?"

"Mm. Well, we might be able to cook up some kind of ad campaign with him..."

It's nice, being in Asami's arms, breathing in Asami's scent, feeling the vibration of her breath in Korra's body. It's nice to be home, with the woman she loves, and to simply be in the moment, something Korra hasn't really been since Lin told her an attack might be coming.

Korra sighs. "Asami?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm done with fake dates and trying to set traps for bad guys who are never gonna make a move. I got really carried away and I was trying to control something I can't control. It must have been annoying. _I_ must have been annoying. Sorry it took me so long to work that out..."

"I'm just glad that you have."

"Wanna go to that barbecue place on our next real date night?"

Asami kisses Korra's cheek. "Sounds perfect."

* * *

Korra is wearing her nicest dress, and she looks _good_. Asami is wearing _her_ nicest dress, and she looks like the most beautiful woman in the city to Korra. Then again, she always does, because Asami is. Not only do they have the entire night to themselves, and a table for two at Ryuko's Fire Nation Barbecue Experience, they even have the next day off, too.

After they sit at their table, Asami whispers something to the waiter and a few minutes later a large covered pot is wheeled in on a trolley and placed beside their table.

Korra raises an eyebrow. "What's that?"

Asami smiles. "A surprise. But not an edible one. Let's look at the menu?"

"Okay, keep your secrets. I'll get them out of you later!" Asami smirks and Korra grins at her before she turns her attention to the menu. Korra's grin fades and she begins to frown. "Wait...no noodle dishes?"

That's when the bad guys finally make their move. This time, they burst out of concealment from spaces they hollowed in the walls. There are at least a dozen of them, and they rush to converge on Korra's table. While the other diners scream and panic and generally react in the manner of people who don't spend their lives getting ambushed every other week, Korra folds her arms and pouts.

"Avatar Korra!" shrieks a woman who vaults over another table to land beside Korra and Asami's. She's dressed in loose black clothes and wears a mask fashioned in the likeness of a snarling llama-tiger. "We are here to end the tyranny you hold over the world! By opening the spirit portals, you have--"

Korra hunches her shoulders and makes her pout poutier. "No."

"What?" The masked woman hesitates. Her companions close in, surrounding the table. "This isn't a yes or no prospect! We are here to--"

"I'm not playing," Korra says, sniffing and turning her face away from the masked woman. "I've been making time for you all week, but that wasn't good enough, nooo! You had to spoil tonight! This restaurant doesn't even serve noodles! So, no. I'm not listening to your dumb speeches and I'm not playing the dumb Avatar tonight. Go away."

The terrifyingly masked evil ambushers exchange uncertain glances. Their spokesperson clears her throat. "I...ah...I think what the Avatar has just realised is that she's helpless! If she doesn't help us shut down the portals and restore this world to the way it should be, we'll kill her! Yes, and you can't resist us because--"

Korra rolls her eyes. "Yeah, yeah! Because we're surrounded by civilians and...ugh, do you know how many times I've been through this?"

Asami sighs. She signals to a nearby waiter, offering him an encouraging smile. "Now, Korra. The floor and walls are made of wood, so you have no earth to bend. They only use chopsticks here, so no metal. Fire would obviously be very dangerous to the property and the innocent people here--"

"Right, right! Thank you!" The masked woman nods at Asami. "Your wife gets it! There isn't any water near enough for you to use, and if you airbend too forcefully--"

Asami cuts her off smoothly. "You risk the innocents again. Right?" Asami smiles politely at the people threatening them. She smiles at Korra, her eyes twinkling. "If only there was some other form of bending you could employ in situations like this, Korra."

Asami inclines her head ever so slightly towards the pot.

Korra blinks. She uncrosses her arms. She unpouts her lips. Slowly she grins. "Oh, I love you so much, wife!"

Asami grins back. "Have fun, wife."

Llama-tiger mask says, "The days of fun are over, Avatar--"

Korra sweeps her hands up, out, and in, summoning a wind that rages round the table, pulling their attackers _closer_ and barely even ruffling the hair of the diners at the nearest table. She kicks her chair back, into one of the now stumbling anti-spiriters, knocking him down. Korra rises up, her arms moving into a waterbending stance. She flows gracefully into the movements she's been practising for months now, and the world responds to her bending.

The lid of the pot is flung off, smashing into the ceiling, as a mass of glistening white noodles erupt into the air, weaving themselves into a ball in response to Korra's beckoning hands.

Llama-tiger mask's eyes widen behind her mask. "Wh-what? What are you doing? And why are you doing it?"

Korra tilts her head. "I can earthbend, metalbend, airbend, firebend, and waterbend. You knew that. But what you didn't know is, I figured out how to use the water in boiled noodles to bend the noodles themselves as a delicious living weapon! I'm the world's first noodlebender. And _you_...you are going down!"

While all eyes are focused on Korra and her incredible display of bending prowess, Korra enjoys watching Asami from the corner of her. Asami calmly stands up and calmly breaks her chair over the nearest bad guy's head, dropping him to the floor.

When everyone looks at _Asami_ after that, Korra makes her move. She bends several strands of noodles from the floating noodle ball and directs them into the eyeholes of the masks of their attackers, where she reshapes them into balls and freezes them into place.

While people start tearing at the noodles or pulling off their masks, Korra divides the ball of noodles into two spheres. One she keeps hovering near her shoulder, the other she pulls in front of her. Korra squeezes the noodles into a tighter mass, pulls the moisture in them to the centre of the ball and flashes fire across the outer surface, hardening the outer noodles into a tough shell while preserving an elastic core with enough water in it for Korra to bend.

Korra grins. The first anti-spirit goon to rip off their mask barely has time to scream before he gets hit on the chin with the full force of Korra's baked noodles of justice. He sinks to the floor, and Korra uses one hand to direct lengths of noodles from the ones hovering by her shoulder to his wrists and and ankles. She freezes them in place while with her other hand she sends her hardened noodle ball at any of the bad guys who have recovered their vision.

And while said bad guys are recovering and trying to focus on Korra, Asami slips quietly outside their loose circle and relieves the waiter she signalled of his tray. She tucks a handful of chopsticks under her arm and moves calmly towards the bad guys in Korra's blind spot.

Korra's grin widens. She _loves_ her wife.

The next few moments are filled with the crunch and slurp of Korra's devastating noodlebending and the cracks, grunts and gasps typically associated with Asami Sato introducing either the edge or the underside of a mahogany tray to the knees, throats, jaws and heads of the truly deserving. It isn't long before most of the dinner-interrupters are on the floor, groaning or out cold, with noodle restraints keeping them from causing further trouble.

A couple of them try to run, of course. Korra's noodle ball drops one with a loud cracking sound as the much battered sphere finally cracks and disintegrates on the back of the fleeing woman. A few well-aimed chopsticks pin the sleeves of a running man to the restaurant's wall. 

Korra looks back at Asami with a grin. "Nice throw! I'm so glad I'll never have to fight against you, wife!"

Asami smiles, blushing slightly at the compliment. "Thanks, wife. I have to admit, your noodle--"

Asami breaks off, her eyes narrowing. She grips the tray with both hands and--with a flick of her wrists--sends it skimming edgewise right at Korra. Korra doesn't waste time asking questions, or looking behind her, or doing anything other than ducking down so that the tray passes over her head. She hears a gurgling cry from whoever was trying to sneak up on her taking a tray to the throat. Korra doesn't bother looking round to check, because for one thing, Asami threw that tray, so whoever she was trying to hit just got hit.

For another thing, Llama-tiger mask is leaping at Asami's back, her arm raised with what looks like an obsidian dagger in her hand.

Korra whips out her hands, bending the last of her noodles at the attacking woman, wrapping them around her knife arm and yanking it out wide, clear of Asami's body. Asami ducks and spins out of the path of the other woman's body. Llama-tiger mask lands awkwardly in a crouch. She tries to spring to her feet and bring her dagger to bear, but Korra pulls on her arm with the noodles, slowing her. Asami rises up out of her crouch, completing her spin and bringing her elbow up to connect with Llama-tiger mask just behind her ear. The masked woman stiffens, then slides to the floor, unconscious.

Korra takes a second to make sure no one else is going to cause them any trouble. When she's sure that all of the threats have been neutralised--with the possible exception of the restaurant manager who advances on them, his face as crimson as Asami's dress--Korra becomes aware of the mixture of fascinated and horrified expressions on the faces of the diners.

For a second, it throws her out of the post-combat high and the thrills of performing advanced noodlebending techniques. But then she sees the expression on _Asami's_ face, just before Asami cuts off the angry manager and Korra sinks into the warm, happy glow of knowing that her wife is proud of her and loves her.

Korra grins at the other diners. "What? You never seen noodlebending and serving tray self defence before?"

* * *

Asami takes off her shawl and places it on the end table. She places herself on the couch and smiles at Korra. "That was a perfect evening. Even if we're never getting a table at Ryuko's again."

Korra sighs happily as she sits beside Asami and smooths a blanket over them both. "Yeah, well. I can't believe they blamed us for the attack! We should have charged them for the entertainment!"

Asami leans into Korra, resting her head on Korra's shoulder. She smells like jasmine and moccasinwood and everything good in the world. Korra kisses the top of her head. Asami chuckles, and snuggles into her. "You know, some places might start inviting us, if they think they'll get a show like that one."

"Yeah? Well...I don't think anyone's gonna mess with our dinner plans for a while. Not once word gets round."

"Mm." Asami's breath against Korra's neck sends pleasant shivers through her body. Asami kisses her neck, and Korra can feel a smirk in the shape of her wife's lips. "Doesn't mean we need to turn down the invites."

"True!"

"Though I suppose we'll need to make sure there are always noodles handy...and bad people will figure out a way around noodlebending eventually."

"Heh. Let 'em. Who says I'm going to stop at noodlebending? I can apply what I've learned tonight to a whole range of cuisines! I already have a few ideas about how to use fish tactically that will--"

Asami cuts her off by cupping her jaw and tilting Korra's head into a kiss that leaves her dizzy. "You can start work on those tomorrow," Asami says softly.

Korra kisses Asami, losing herself entirely to the wonder that is her wife in her arms, her wife's scent filling her lungs, her wife's mouth against hers. When Korra finally comes up for air and meets Asami's eyes, she smiles and strokes her wife's cheek. "Day after tomorrow at the earliest," Korra promises.

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus prompt: noodlebending! Did anyone think I wouldn't write a noodlebending fic when noodlebending was a prompt?
> 
> This marks the end of my Korrasami month! Phew! That was fun but very tricky to do in December with all the December things! I am now very tired.
> 
> I hope you've had a good Korrasami month! I know I have. I very much appreciate all the readers, all the kudos, and all the comments!
> 
> If you'd like to leave a comment on this one, I'd love that!
> 
> Happy New Year when it comes, folks! All the best to you and here's to a better 2019!


End file.
